SPIDERMAN: DEADNew York, NY – Spiderman, New York's friendly neighbourhood Superhero, has died of Leukaemia in Mount Sinai Hospital, New York, a spokesperson for the hospital announced earlier today. Spiderman, whose health had been under intense speculation, ever since the green Goblin kicked his frail-looking ass in Times Square last February, is said to have passed away peacefully.
One of America's most misunderstood Superheroes, Spiderman was often more loathed than loved, with many New Yorker's believing, at first, that he was a actually a Supervillain. This initial mistrust was exemplified by a now legendary hate campaign led by former Daily Bugle boss, J. Jonah Jameson (Jameson was later dismissed by the Daily Bugle, for his part in a human trafficking cartel, in 2006). However it was not long before Spiderman turned the people around, when he publicly foiled one of Dr. Octopus' many schemes to take over the world.
SAD DAY
"It is a sad day for all America," Spiderman's oncologist at Mount Sinai, Dr. David Samadi, announced to the crowd of mourners who gathered outside Spiderman's final resting place. "We have lost not only a great hero, but a great friend. But Spiderman's death need not be in vain. Hopefully this will be an eye-opener to anyone who has come into contact with any radioactive material. We urge you to seek medical assistance immediately."
Spiderman is believed to have been unwilling visit hospital, after having been bitten by a radioactive spider – the apparent source of his Super powers, amongst which were the ability to climb walls, a form of ESP, superhuman strength, and outstanding agility.
But Dr. George Apostolakis, an expert in the effects of Radiation, at MIT, says that Spiderman's situation is extraordinarily unique. "The chances of being imbued with Super Powers after being bitten by a radio-active creature are phenomenally high," he says. "What is more likely, is that the victim will develop ARS (Acute Radiation Syndrome), which will typically lead to the patient developing fatigue, increased temperature, swollen glands, and finally, some form of cancer – usually terminal.
"In Spiderman's case," Mr Apostolakis continues, "The risk of illness would have been proliferated, given that he should have been poisoned by the animal too." We ask Mr. Apostolakis if it's possible that the combination of these two elements – the spider venom coupled with the radiation – could have led to a delay in the onset of his illness. "It's almost certainly what did happened, but it's massively rare; the fact that he came by his Super powers is one thing, but to assume that this meant he would suffer no ill-affects from either the radiation or the spider, is quite frankly stupid."
TRIBUTES
Meanwhile, hundreds of tributes have come pouring in, from fans, celebrities, and Superheroes alike, with Superman describing him as, "Clearly the second best superhero ever, after me, obviously." Even some of Spiderman's nemeses have expressed shock; Dr Octopus expressed his remorse for repeatedly trying to murder him, and said "Despite obviously being a lot easier now, taking over the world just won't be the same." Surprisingly, Peter Parker, the photojournalist who has spent his career documenting the adventures of Spiderman, was nowhere to be seen.
One of America's most misunderstood Superheroes, Spiderman was often more loathed than loved, with many New Yorker's believing, at first, that he was a actually a Supervillain. This initial mistrust was exemplified by a now legendary hate campaign led by former Daily Bugle boss, J. Jonah Jameson (Jameson was later dismissed by the Daily Bugle, for his part in a human trafficking cartel, in 2006). However it was not long before Spiderman turned the people around, when he publicly foiled one of Dr. Octopus' many schemes to take over the world.
SAD DAY
"It is a sad day for all America," Spiderman's oncologist at Mount Sinai, Dr. David Samadi, announced to the crowd of mourners who gathered outside Spiderman's final resting place. "We have lost not only a great hero, but a great friend. But Spiderman's death need not be in vain. Hopefully this will be an eye-opener to anyone who has come into contact with any radioactive material. We urge you to seek medical assistance immediately."
Spiderman is believed to have been unwilling visit hospital, after having been bitten by a radioactive spider – the apparent source of his Super powers, amongst which were the ability to climb walls, a form of ESP, superhuman strength, and outstanding agility.
But Dr. George Apostolakis, an expert in the effects of Radiation, at MIT, says that Spiderman's situation is extraordinarily unique. "The chances of being imbued with Super Powers after being bitten by a radio-active creature are phenomenally high," he says. "What is more likely, is that the victim will develop ARS (Acute Radiation Syndrome), which will typically lead to the patient developing fatigue, increased temperature, swollen glands, and finally, some form of cancer – usually terminal.
"In Spiderman's case," Mr Apostolakis continues, "The risk of illness would have been proliferated, given that he should have been poisoned by the animal too." We ask Mr. Apostolakis if it's possible that the combination of these two elements – the spider venom coupled with the radiation – could have led to a delay in the onset of his illness. "It's almost certainly what did happened, but it's massively rare; the fact that he came by his Super powers is one thing, but to assume that this meant he would suffer no ill-affects from either the radiation or the spider, is quite frankly stupid."
TRIBUTES
Meanwhile, hundreds of tributes have come pouring in, from fans, celebrities, and Superheroes alike, with Superman describing him as, "Clearly the second best superhero ever, after me, obviously." Even some of Spiderman's nemeses have expressed shock; Dr Octopus expressed his remorse for repeatedly trying to murder him, and said "Despite obviously being a lot easier now, taking over the world just won't be the same." Surprisingly, Peter Parker, the photojournalist who has spent his career documenting the adventures of Spiderman, was nowhere to be seen.
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